Monday, January 23, 2012

The problem with being a (sorta) grownup

It's the stuff like making dinner, say you expend a ton of energy making an awesome dinner and then the next night you have to think of something nourishing and tasty AGAIN! because you are an adult type person.

Such a bummer,

I tend to look back on my accomplishments like "wow, I did a kickass job cleaning the house, go me!" and then ignore the fact it has to be done again because I am irritated by the reality that I am just going to have to do it again. It's kind of a character flaw because I tend to be critical about my own bodily needs such as eating, like "what!, body needs more food, body already had food yesterday!"

Animals seem to be exempt from this criticism since I really enjoy fussing over critter food. When I was a kid I had the job of feeding our rabbits and I managed to complicate the task into my own cooking show with the food dishes artfully arranged, poor buns just wanted their tasty noms and not to be lectured on the aesthetic merits of layering the carrot pieces with the lettuce... Now my ponehs "benefit" from this quirk because I obsess over their rations and fantasize over what supplements I could give them with an unlimited budget, usually I do this after Baby has kicked me in the bladder in the middle of the night and I can't get back to sleep, like I debate if it is better to start Joy on MSM or a fancy combo supplement that would cost more then my monthly hay budget, you know cause she's getting soooo much work right now what with the standing in the field, eating hay and pooping.

 I am totally failing at feeding myself over the past couple of days, all I want is sugar and the more sugar I eat the more I wants it, my precious.... Which sucks and it annoys me, since I know I am using it to balance out my moods and I will have more energy/be less depressed if I eat properly, I am a sugar addict and I really need to just stop. Damn being responsible.

Went to town today, despite extreme sleepiness. I took Smelly Manchild to get a haircut and more pants at the thrift store, apparently having your family refer to you as Severus Snape for enough days in a row is incentive to get a haircut even if you have to go grocery shopping with your stepmom afterward. He is at the awkward "I am 13 year old boy and no clothes fit me" stage so shopping wasn't a huge success but we got some stuff. I managed to only buy one (really cute!) skirt that will fit me post baby, presumably. Full length mirrors are not my friend right now, I feel ginormous.

I thought I wanted to buy some baby stuff but when I looked at baby stuff I realized I actually just want to have the baby.

and now I want to go to bed.