Still, still, still preggo.

Midwife appointment today, Baby has dropped and I feel like there is no more room in my body for both of us. I let her feel me up, cervix is smooshy but not at all dilated. Lots of little contractions, hormones are making me really PMSy and I am really impatient to meet my baby. Taking this last little bit of pregnancy time to really spoil myself in the name of preparing for labor, especially since I really seem to need it, I am sleepy and so fricken hungry lately. But I was secretly really hoping to hear that my cervix was ready to go and I shouldn't sneeze or anything because the baby would fall out. Totally unrealistic, but a girl can hope.

Today I was bad and got an overpriced Carmel macchiato on the way home, also managed to get to the feedstore, partially because I was a little low on a few things and I didn't want to have to stop on the way home from the hospital or something silly like that. Also it is better if Joe doesn't know exactly how much a bag of good feed costs. 

Ponehs are in the awkward stage of spring, nasty shedding. They annoy me when they shun their perfectly good hay in favor of tiny grass sprouts, We divided the paddock and put them in the back so they won't kill all the grass before it has a chance to sprout. Little and Poppy are putting on weight, Joy is ridiculously out of shape but it in fact the cutest horse ever so it is okay.

See, cutest snoot ever.

pretty spring

Wow, my cat stinks and the litter box isn't even in this room. I guess I will stop messing around with changing her food and keep her on Taste of the Wild dry and Evo wet, I was trying Wellness wet and Innova dry and she is just astinkin. She was on Science Diet when we got her from the shelter and Joe threatened to take her back since she smelled sooooooo awful.


In blog news I changed the comment section so it should be easier to leave comments, if it still sucks let me know and I will switch the whole shebang over, maybe to wordpress.

chickens are trying to come inside 

Free range :)

And suddenly Sadie

gonna do chores since it preferable to beating teenage boys for making stupid noises in the other room.

Still preggo

Being this pregnant is really boring.

Had my midwife appointment yesterday and all is well. I am very pregnant and could have a baby at any time.

Then Joe and I met up to have tasty Chinese food for lunch, then I went to what felt like a million stores in what felt like a million degree heat and came home to collapse on the couch to watch "House" and eat Popsicles.

In actuality it was four stores and the library, the high yesterday was like 86 degrees but still.

Today I am going to finish the Popsicles and the non pregnant people will just have to feel sad they didn't get more. I am also baking some bread in the hopes I will feel like eating something other then Popsicles, fruit and salad, the bread is from a mix because despite the fact my Mom is a bread baking goddess, I can't bake bread that will rise even with a mix.

Might give Sadie a bath after I grain Ponehs. Or I might lay on the couch and whine.

I don't do waiting well.

spring, baby time, feeding ponehs and parasites.

The last few weeks of pregnancy are the hardest. I am so ready to have this baby.

I'm officially at 38 weeks and we are on baby time, makes it hard to plan things.
Tax lady: how is Monday the 19th for you?
Me: should be okay, unless I am in labor, because then I would be busy
Tax Lady : oooookay would Tuesday be better?
Me: maybe? But if I don't show it's because of the Baby, cause I am going to be tooooo busy to remember to call you.

It was pretty easy to be well behaved when the weather was crap, like yeah I really want to slog around outside in the freezing rain and mud, wahoo!. Well, spring has sprung. It is in the mid 70s with a light breeze, the flowers are coming out and I want to ride so very badly.

My dragon baby is very wiggly, I am still enjoying having him in my belly but at the same time I feel like we are both getting impatient. I'm trying to do all the things now that I won't be able to do later, like take long baths, read books and waste time online.

You can vote here on when baby is born, Joe is convinced it will be the 21st, I really don't know.

Otherwise not much going on that other people would be interested in. I had horrible stomach flu last Friday and a 9 month (!) pregnant, puking woman is the saddest thing ever. Jeep tried to break and I had to take it in to the shop to get Ujoints replaced, glad Joe is much more sensitive to weird car noise then I am, I tend to just turn the music louder which isn't the best plan. We went yesterday to visit friends (they fed me steak, delish!) and skyped with other friends and family :) It was fun to show off my belly to my parents, and really great to see them although I find Skype a little weird.

Critters are good, although maybe more clingy then normal. Sadie is always watching me. Probably because I am always eating.

Another thing that interests probably only me is figuring out this feeding thing. Ponehs have pretty much free choice grass hay, meaning I am their hay slave and bring them more about the time they run out of the previous feeding. Joy looks good (although hairy, muddy and disgusting) Poppy is slightly ribby and Little Horse is skinny again. Picked up more Triple Crown senior, since it is simplest to have all three eating the same grain, TC SR. doesn't make Joy a spooky mess, it is palatable, easily digestible and fairly high calorie. Only issue is it takes Joy a minute to snarfle her smaller amount of food, Poppy takes a normal amount of time and Little Horse is the slowest eater ever. So I separate them and fuss. I have Little up to three pounds of TC SR and oats and this happens daily.

Little Horse: nomnom, what's that? oh it's the dog,  nibble nibble, oh what's over there? hmmmm, nibble nibble
Me: Just eat your damn food!
Little Horse: but you put oil in it and now it has a funny texture
Me: just eat your damn food!
Little Horse: I don't really like it when there is more then one pound of oats per two pound of TC
Me: just eat it!
Little Horse: I think I will stand over here instead, eventually you will let Joy back in and then we can share it.

This is with food she likes, food she doesn't like she paws at and when it doesn't magically turn into something tastier she will dump it all over the ground.

I had fecals done on Joy and Little in preparation for spring dewoming (they got hit last with Equimax in December) Joy had a very low count and Little had an enormous count, more then four times higher then Joy's! I feel awful because I had gotten Little's numbers down and then figured we were good to go with a more normal deworming schedule. I think because she had such an awful parasite problem when she was a foal (I am seriously doubting if her dam was ever dewormed) that her gut doesn't work properly in getting rid of them, I know young horses often have a harder time with parasites but she is different. So the new plan is hitting her with dewormer every other month and looking into treating her for ulcers this summer, I just don't think her tummy works right.

Silly high maintenance beasties. Mine are pretty easy to keep though still, I think my mom is right and horse people just like to fuss.

Things you have to learn about pregnancy yourself

I wasn't prepared for:

How exhausted I would be even when it doesn't usually seem like anything is happening.

How much I would love the baby, even though I haven't met him yet.

Needing sooooooo much sleep, in the first trimester I was a narcoleptic napper and now I am in the third I am just tired all the time, and the closer I get to the end the worse it gets.

The food aversions (earlier) and heartburn (now), I didn't think food would be so much of an issue.

The permanent PMS-like emotional roller coaster, I can go from being "fine" to "want to eat your soul" type rage in seconds, likewise the cry on cue thing.

How my body would change, although that freaked me out more in the beginning when I just felt fat, now belly is rapidly growing to make room for baby and that's pretty cool.

How I would be excited about little baby clothes and socks, I have a thing about baby socks and shoes.(although not as bad as the girl in "The Price of Milk" movie)

How other people would think I am weird for being interested in home birth, cloth diapers, diaper free, breast feeding, co-sleeping and baby wearing. All those things seem pretty practical to me.

How long pregnancy is, I feel like I will be pregnant forever and ever.

How little I get done on a daily basis and I am mostly okay with it.

Chores taking twice as long now that I am so big!

The amount of support and love I need on a daily basis.

Preggo whine

Eating gives me heartburn

Not eating gives me heartburn

Tea gives me temporary rest from heartburn

And either my body hates me and is trying to drown me in stomach acid or I am going to have the hairiest child ever.

fencing, baby and me.

Ponehs have been staying in mostly, I got the section of fence repaired and thought all was well until I tried letting them into the second paddock this morning (slightly drier in there, freakin mud!) and Little Horse and Joy were both out within minutes. So Joe gets to help me figure out the fence this weekend, I give up, they can stay in the front paddock and I will search for somewhat less muddy places to put down hay.

 Joy is being a spaz spaz spaz, spooking at invisble monsters and overreacting to e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. She got into grain during her Grand Wander About on Tuesday, I am not sure what it is about grain that turns into a monster but it is like having two different horses, total Jekyll and Hyde, one is high strung, over reactive, unfocused and quite frankly dangerous. The other is smart, notices everything, quick on her feet and fun. One vet I talked to thought she might be prone to ulcers and the grain irritated her stomach, especially since she has a similar reaction on antibiotics but no way of knowing  for sure without scoping her. Easiest right now to just to keep her on a high forage, low starch diet and avoid the crazies.

It has been kind of a baby-centric week, Monday was Tour the Birth Center Day, since Joe had to work (boo) my dear friend Melissa accompanied me. It turned out to be quite funny, we got lost trying to figure out where we were supposed to get in the stupid building, got sent to the 9th floor then got sent back to the 2nd, found the auditorium and giggled in the back through the powerpoint presentation, toured the Midwife Ghetto (honestly, it's totally set apart from the mainstream birth area, I guess so the nasty natural birthers don't upset the general population.) But the Ghetto is nice, lots of tubs to labor in which sounds wonderful as I adore baths. Then we went and ate yummy Thai food, baby likes Thai food, and strangely enough mushrooms.

Yesterday was my appointment with my Midwife, she is super cool. I ask "are you sure the baby is not freakishly large" and she assures me he is normal size, I go "but you'd tell me if he was freakishly large, right?" and she reassures me that she would tell me and says something nice about my measurements being all good. Just the kind of person you want around when you are worrying about everything. I have gotten kind of huge in the belly area, and feel a lot like sleeping all the time, grocery shopping was a lot of work. Also stopped by the fabric store and scored some nice brightly coloured flannel to make baby blanket, diaper wipes and general baby cleaners, they will be awesome and so much better then the wimpy swaddling blankets you can buy. (thanks for the idea Mom!)

I need to go be "productive" since all I have done so far today is eat yummy food, visit with Melissa and feed critters. I guess by "productive" I mean watch TrueBlood and make baby blankets, whatevs, it works.

The problem with being a (sorta) grownup

It's the stuff like making dinner, say you expend a ton of energy making an awesome dinner and then the next night you have to think of something nourishing and tasty AGAIN! because you are an adult type person.

Such a bummer,

I tend to look back on my accomplishments like "wow, I did a kickass job cleaning the house, go me!" and then ignore the fact it has to be done again because I am irritated by the reality that I am just going to have to do it again. It's kind of a character flaw because I tend to be critical about my own bodily needs such as eating, like "what!, body needs more food, body already had food yesterday!"

Animals seem to be exempt from this criticism since I really enjoy fussing over critter food. When I was a kid I had the job of feeding our rabbits and I managed to complicate the task into my own cooking show with the food dishes artfully arranged, poor buns just wanted their tasty noms and not to be lectured on the aesthetic merits of layering the carrot pieces with the lettuce... Now my ponehs "benefit" from this quirk because I obsess over their rations and fantasize over what supplements I could give them with an unlimited budget, usually I do this after Baby has kicked me in the bladder in the middle of the night and I can't get back to sleep, like I debate if it is better to start Joy on MSM or a fancy combo supplement that would cost more then my monthly hay budget, you know cause she's getting soooo much work right now what with the standing in the field, eating hay and pooping.

 I am totally failing at feeding myself over the past couple of days, all I want is sugar and the more sugar I eat the more I wants it, my precious.... Which sucks and it annoys me, since I know I am using it to balance out my moods and I will have more energy/be less depressed if I eat properly, I am a sugar addict and I really need to just stop. Damn being responsible.

Went to town today, despite extreme sleepiness. I took Smelly Manchild to get a haircut and more pants at the thrift store, apparently having your family refer to you as Severus Snape for enough days in a row is incentive to get a haircut even if you have to go grocery shopping with your stepmom afterward. He is at the awkward "I am 13 year old boy and no clothes fit me" stage so shopping wasn't a huge success but we got some stuff. I managed to only buy one (really cute!) skirt that will fit me post baby, presumably. Full length mirrors are not my friend right now, I feel ginormous.

I thought I wanted to buy some baby stuff but when I looked at baby stuff I realized I actually just want to have the baby.

and now I want to go to bed.

goals and the upcoming year

Since it is January and I don't feel like folding clothes I thought I would post about goals. I am not the type of person who likes making New Year resolutions, I think if you are going to make a change it needs to come from within and be attainable, so I guess a resolution like "I am going to my body healthier" is more my style then the infamous "I am going to lose ten pounds" type resolution.

Looking back at this post I did in the summer (before I knew I was pregnant) I think my goals were pretty reasonable, taking lessons, trying to get to another show and improving my fitness and Joy's dressage. Of course shortly after that post I found out I was preggers, we had some financial restraints and our infamous "move in while looking for a house and stay for fucking ever" house guests happened. In short life happened and while I am not disappointed in myself I do wish finances were not an issue, I still rode and worked on Joy's fitness and training and feel we got a lot accomplished even if it wasn't quite how I pictured it.

So basically my goals for 2012
-I want the remainder of my pregnancy and labor to be uneventful
-I want to have a healthy and happy baby
-Get myself and Joy fit
-improve Baby horse's ground manners (not human Baby that would be silly)
-get Poppy started under saddle and make preparations to sell her
-improve Joy's dressage (biggies are balance and relaxation)
-Have some lessons to get experience and feedback on our training
-Make it to at least two horse trials
-continue improving pasture and fencing (love my husband)
-set up better arena space (see above)
-have fun!

On a poneh health front everyone is doing great, weight is good for all three. The weather has been freakish and we are back to mud mud mud so I haven't taken any recent pictures. I can't get them to touch the GroStrong minerals that I was trying to feed free choice, so have been mixing the appropriate amount in with the morning feed of beet pulp and rice bran. I don't think I will buy them again since the primary component is salt (which they already get free choice, they especially enjoy the Himalayan rock salt) and they have no interest in eating the stuff free choice and if they won't touch it then it defeats the purpose of offering it. Planning on putting Joy on some Glanzen Complete since she did well on it last year and looking into joint supplements, at least will try some msm.

On the Me health front Baby and I are doing good, still having a surprising amount of sleepiness, I feel kinda lame because I get so tired, I feel like all I do is eat and sleep right now. I think giving myself permission to be tired helped, I don't feel as guilty for "not getting as much done" and I am doing something, I'm growing a person! I found making a big list of the things that have to be done and doing one thing off the list everyday helps, makes me feel more accomplished and less overwhelmed.

I'm also doing a lot of research on hospital births and procedures although I am going with the nurse midwives at a birth center it is different then doing it at home and I want to be educated. My midwife says everything looks great and is really supportive which is so nice since I had to take a "parent education class" through the health center and it was all "of course you want an epidural, they are totally wonderful and safe!" Out of the 15 women there only three of us were going with midwives, I guess I didn't realize how pervasive the modern birth attitudes are, I really don't believe giving birth should be like an illness or trauma that has to be interfered with. I have time but I think it is best to figure out what I want now.

baby needs tasty noms and so do ponehs so I better go feed myself and critters :)

It's overcast so I writes lots while eating Drunken Noodles.

Trail rode Joy, she was a good but a little hot since she hasn't been out in a few days due to weather and life.We cut through the woods and she was all "Now we canter fast and jump things"  it makes me sad that I am getting to be a less effective rider, mainly because when she would get strong before I would engage my core and sit up deep in the saddle this would make her shorten her frame and I could give a strong half half and no more run away pony. Now my belly is in the way, my balance is off and I just feel like I am bracing on her mouth.So I am seriously thinking about sticking to walking (with a little trot) trail rides especially after having my boobs go bounce bounce and baby go bounce bounce whenever we picked up any speed, it was uncomfortable.

Last night was so cold and windy that I had to put hay in the shelter or it would have all blown away! Today is chilly in that snow is coming way. I guess it is November so can't complain to much, we got more of a Autumn then I thought we would.

On a positive note, Joy seems to be doing well on the TC Senior, it is quite low starch and so far hasn't been making her weird. She isn't getting a lot however, only around a pound per day, honestly doesn't need a lot, we don't need a pudgy pony. Poppy has gained some weight which I am pleased about, she looks nice as does Baby. I hope Poppy puts on some more muscle when she is in work but since she is only three I am figuring she is still growing. Hoping to start her lightly under saddle next spring.

Good news is I am at 20 weeks and going for the ultrasound tomorrow, and Joe can come :) It was looking like he would miss it due to work but he is able to make it after all. I wouldn't have gone alone since my dear friend Melissa, would have braved getting up early to come with me even though she thinks babies are weird. I had an appointment with my midwife yesterday (who is really wonderful) and got to hear baby heartbeat, everything seems to be going well.

Surprisingly I don't mind being pregnant, by the end I will likely be huge and sick of being huge and waiting for baby. But right now things are good and I don't see why so many people make a huge deal about it. Yes, I am more sleepy, sometimes I don't feel good, there are parts that are really unpleasant and parts that are amazing. But I don't get why people complain about how horrible and inconvenient it is, especially when they got knocked up on purpose.

I haven't talked much about it on here (since I think it is tacky) but we have had friends living with us for the past four months and they have to move out soon or I will lose my mind. I had a little breakdown two weeks ago and told them they have to move out by this coming weekend, I hope for the sake of the friendship they are taking me seriously.  They are "looking" for a house and I feel I have been very patient but we don't have room for three extra people. I resent being expected to take care of the household chores and cooking for everyone, I also take issue with them being really messy and not helping out with the bills. I miss having privacy, space and the messy being my messy. So until they are gone I have been refusing to do any cleaning (except occasionally dishes) the house is totally trashed and I am just going to try to ignore it until they go away.

anyway enough bitching, got thing to do, like play with Luna :)